This letter appeared in the current (23.08.05) edition of Ariel:

I came across this appreciation of BBC job titles composed by Peter Chiswell (now dead) ‘with the help of the BBC staff list’ in December 1973. Peter was a Radio 2 producer, talented cartoonist and larger than life character.

C.A.T.C.A.G.R.
Was standing in the Langham bar
When up came C.A. to D.E.
And C.A. to M.D.X.B.

What will you have? went up the cry
‘My round,’ said C.P.E.N.I.
‘No, no,’ said C.A.X.S.N.
‘Let’s take a drink off P.S.M.’

Said P.S.M. ‘I’m short of tin –
May I suggest H.Pers. and Fin.?’
‘A good idea,’ cried R.B.O.
‘I guess he’s never short of dough’

‘Make way, make way!’ called out H.Buying
‘With all this talk, of thirst I’m dying’
And pushing through he bought a jar
For C.A. to G.M.L.R.

It was a very busy day
For in came C.S.I.F.A.
Followed by Dep. H.H.F.C.
M.D.R. and A.D.E.

And later A.H.A.D. (sales)
Chatting up H.E.B. (Wales)
And both of them had quite a lot
To say about H.E.B. (Scot)

C.A. (P.D.) F.G. Tel
Wasn’t feeling very well
‘I’m sure, old man, you’re under stress’
Said A. to H.Pers.A.X.S.

‘Never mind,’ said C.N.I.
‘He’ll feel better by and by
Let’s join up with Pers.O.F.
And order something from the chef

This was thought a splendid plan
For after all, the inner man
Is important to officials
Heavily weighted with initials

Hints for the bewildered

C.A.T.C.A.G.R. – chief assistant to head of talks and current affairs group, radio

C.A. to D.E. – chief assistant to director of engineering

C.A. to M.D.X.B. – chief assistant to managing director, external broadcasting

C.P.E.N.I. – chief assistant, external services news

P.S.M. – publicity services manager

H.Pers. and Fin. – head of personnel and finance

R.B.O. – religious broadcasting organiser

H.Buying – head of buying

C.A. to G.M.L.R. – chief assistant to general manager, local radio

C.S.I.F.A. – central services information and finance assistant

Dep.H.H.F.C. – deputy head of home and foreign correspondents

M.D.R. – managing director, radio

A.D.E. – assistant director of engineering

A.H.A.D. (Sales) – assistant head of advertisement department (sales)

H.E.B. (Wales, Scot) – head of educational broadcasting (Wales, Scotland)

C.A.(P.D.) F.G.Tel. – chief assistant (programme developments) features group,
television

A. to H.Pers.A.X.S. – assistant to head of personnel and administration
external services

C.N.I. – controller, Northern Ireland

Pers. O.F. – personnel officer, finance

Phil Hughes, Radio 2